![]() ![]() Once she has shared the story behind her reaction, I want Bill to respond with compassion and care. Further, opening up to him about why his comment hurt gives her the opportunity to collect some really important data: Bill’s reaction. I want Jenna to be able to talk with Bill about that core wound so that he can approach it with gentleness and care. Her family struggled financially as she was growing up, and she felt shame about her ill-fitting hand-me-downs clothes and worn-out shoes that always looked, to her, shabby and messy. For Jenna, being called “Messy Bessy” touches a tender spot that dates back to her childhood. Relationships thrive when partners can expose their tender underbelly and have their sharing met with kindness and care. What would it be like to talk with your partner about why their joke felt so bad? Willingness to be vulnerable is essential for a healthy intimate relationship.Ask your partner what will help them move on. Just look into your partner’s eyes and apologize. As you feel defensiveness rise in you, pause and take some deep breaths. Resist the urge to tell your partner that it’s no big deal. When your hurtful comment is pointed out to you, do you respond with apology or defensiveness? If your partner tells you that your words hurt them, resist the urge to explain yourself.If you think you resort to teasing because the climate of your relationship is such that you can’t raise a concern in a direct way, this is a problem that warrants both of your attention. This needs to be the case even if your partner doesn’t share your concern or wishes you didn’t have this concern. Healthy intimate relationships have this as a guiding principle: “If it’s a concern for you, it’s a concern for me.” If you are upset or troubled by something in your relationship, you need to be able to turn toward your partner, raise your concern, and have that concern validated and addressed. If this resonates for you, view your teasing as a symptom of a larger relational problem: concerns cannot be aired in a direct manner, so they are getting aired indirectly via teasing. What is the concern or yearning that hides behind your teasing? Sometimes we use humor because we feel unsure about how to raise a concern.Connect with how that feels and see if that awareness leads you to make a different choice. I also invite you to bring your awareness to the fact that your partner might be building up walls to protect themselves from your words. I invite you to connect with the way that teasing felt before you built up walls to protect yourself from pain. That hurt my feelings!” The only choice then is to thicken up your skin, to detach from your authentic response in order to survive. A little person who is growing up in a family like this cannot say to the big people who hold all the power, “Ouch. How did your family of origin “do” teasing? What I often see is that the teaser grew up in a family that used sarcasm carelessly and thoughtlessly, perhaps even emotionally abusively. ![]() The original plan was that Adele was recording an “interview”, when park rangers would burst in and tell her the bear was near.I want to provide you with some questions to invite reflection and conversation. Real news channels got involved, with Gayle King even recording a fake bulletin about the fictional bear on the loose. In an attempt to hoodwink Adele, Corden and his team set up a large-scale prank where they pretended a wild bear (played by an animatronic animal flown from Canada) was on the loose from the Los Angeles Zoo. Oh, you want to talk about that?”Ĭorden explained that ever since he’d known the singer, she had insisted that “no-one could ever prank me, I’m unprankable”, although she would “love someone to try” and trick her. Remembering Adele’s last time on Carpool Karaoke in 2015, Corden said: “And then we almost got you on the show…” with Adele interrupting: “Almost. James Corden has recounted the time he tried to prank Adele on The Late Late Show, only for the trick to go terribly wrong.ĭuring his final week as the host of the US talk show, the comedian was joined on Monday (24 April) by the “Hello” singer for his final ever episode of musical sing-a-long segment Carpool Karaoke.ĭuring the episode, the pair reminisced about their lengthy friendship and memories together on and off the show. ![]()
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